Three years ago
by mockingjay777
Summary: Katniss's favourite brother Peeta is thrown into the 74th hunger games with her, but she is conflicted on who to get home. will it be peeta?, or the young girl with the red eyes and messed up past? no major romance!. canon tribs and some new ones to! "Yay i won! wait, what did i win again?" rated M just in case... my summary really sucks, doesnt it?
1. My family

**I GENUINELY HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THE IDEA FOR THIS STORY CAME FROM, IT JUST POOPED INTO MY HEAD ON THE WAY HOME FROM SCHOOL YESTERDAY SO I SPENT TODAY PLANNING**

**ENJOY!**

* * *

My name is Katniss Mellark, I am 19 years old.

My dad, Rye Mellark, was the town baker.

My mum was Dora Mellark, the baker's wife.

But my father was Telstar Everdeen, the hunter from the seam.

I had 5 siblings, which is a _lot_ for district 12. my oldest sibling was 23, Rye Junior, or R.J as everyone knew him. He went into political business and was the mayors main assistant, and I couldn't have been prouder of him. My second brother was Wheat Mellark, and was 21 years old and still helped out at the bakery. My last brother, and the brother I was closest to, was Peeta Mellark, a very kindhearted soul who had been set up to take over the bakery, and he was 18 years old.

I also had two sisters, the first was only 12 years old. Anadama Mellark, the prodigy of our family. At 12 years old she had been the smartest of all the Mellark children, with the exception of R.J.

But my last sister, was Primrose Everdeen.

You see, I was the baby of Telstar and Dora, as she had had an affair with him before he married Prim's mother. My father, being the kind soul Peeta had learned from, had taken her back straight away, but she had insisted Telstar name the baby, or I should say me.

That's why I was the only Mellark child named after a flower and not a bread, and why I look like I come from the seam and not the town. In fact, I was the only of _any _of my siblings to look this way, as Primroses mother was from the town as well.

I had olive skin, black hair kept in a braid, and gray eyes that look black in the right light. All my siblings had blonde hair, pale skin, and bright blue eyes, especially Peeta and Prim. Their eyes were so blue they were the first things anyone noticed about them.

My dad had always let me keep in touch with Telstar as he thought that he had the right to know his daughter. Telstar had taught me how to hunt in the 6 years of my life I'd known him; he taught me many other things as well, like edible plants and anything else that would help, and has helped, his family survive.

He also taught me what an honour it is to compete in the hunger games, and why volunteering was a brave and honourable thing to do. He was a victor, one of the only 3 district 12's ever had, and he was the districts first ever volunteer.

He was gone now though, blown up in a gas fire that took away the entire house he had in the victors village. It was lucky Prim was with me at the time, or she would have been gone then, just as her mother and our father were. She had lived with me and Peeta then in the house next to the bakery that the family owned.

It was a good decision, for Peeta, Prim and I to move to the house next door, because our parents-they were basically Prim's parents as well- had their own space, and Peeta and I were always on hand to help out, and Prim was a joy and made my mother happy.

For my mother had not been the nicest person when I was younger. She would scream and yell at me for being a 'half-breed' and that my dad was 'scum'. I never pointed out to this day that he was the 'scum' that she had had an ongoing affair with behind my fathers back. Part of the reason Peeta and I were so close was that he would always take beatings for me when we were young.

But all that stopped when dear Anadama was born, and it was like my mother changed into a new person. She had always wanted a daughter that wasn't a 'half-breed', and when she got her, the yelling stopped. The beating stopped. The insults stopped. She began to love me as I had wanted her to, and we had a strong relationship.

My mother was perfectly happy to take in Prim when she had to move in with me as well, and while we would never get her name changed officially in honour of Telstar, she was much a Mellark as Anadama had been.

So my family may not have been conventional, but we were happy, and that's what had mattered. while it had lasted anyway.

But I ruined all that three years ago. when I destroyed the government all in the name of vengeance, revenge and the girl i now held to me as she cried.

"Tell me a story Momma Kat." She pleaded with me, red eyes shining.

"Okay sweetie, how about the 'three years ago' story?" I phrase my words carefully, knowing how fragile she could get when she was having a breakdown.

"Okay."

* * *

**So what did you think of my little intro there? I liked it personally, and I'm sorry, but I always wished Peeta was never beaten for the bread, so I made daughters, yeah.**

**By the way, Anadama Is a bread, okay? It's a yeast bread from new England**

**and if anyone was wondering, other mentors like Finnick and Johanna, WILL be making an appearance, as will all canon tributes of the 74th games, with the exception of foxface, who I have something special planned for :D try and guess, I dare you!**

**My story will not be alternating timelines! only that last bit there is from the 'future', the rest is going to be written as present tense!**

**Review=Burnt bread from Peeta!**


	2. Bad girl

**YO! how is everyone? School sucks ass right now so I won't be updating regularly, but I will always try for at least once a week!**

**On with the story!**

* * *

"Peeta?"

No answer, he must already be at the bakery.

"Prim?"

Again, no answer. But that doesn't really surprise me, today is the day of the reaping and Prim is probably with mum and dad trying to stay calm.

I rub my eyes blearily as I get up and go downstairs to the kitchen, where I find a cheese bun with a note attached.

_Prim's at the bakery, she woke up earlier after another nightmare, so mum's looking after her._

_I'm going into the woods to train for a while, I still can't hit the damn squirrel in the eye yet! I'll see you later sis._

_Peeta_

I grin at my brothers squirrel comment. I started to teach him to hunt a couple of months back, and while he is a master of anything involving a knife, he isn't quite as good with a bow as I am. That's understandable though, Telstar had taught me for years and was a better teacher than I am anyway.

* * *

I get dressed and make my way over to the bakery, where dad is waiting to greet me.

"Good morning Katniss, your reaping clothes are still drying, so you can help out here while they dry." my father smiles at me broadly and I can't help but smile back, even though I can't stand baking regardless of my skill in the area. I nod at him and step up to the oven, where three loaves are already loaded in and halfway done. There isn't really much to do right now so I go upstairs to find my sisters and mum.

I find them on Anadamas bed, where the two girls are crying softly while my mother comforts them. I walk quickly over and take up Prim in my arms. "What's up, little duck?" I question softly, but I can't help but feel like I already know the answer, it is obvious after all. "I'm scared about the reaping, I know dad used to say to go was an honour but I'm still only 12 and I'd never win if I got reaped, I'd be dead in minutes!" she is full out sobbing by now, and I can't help but feel a pang of guilt. I caused her to be upset like this. _No, not me, the capitol, _I think to myself.

That's a strange thing about me, while I have been raised to believe that fightning in the games is an honour and volunteering is extremely praised, I hated the capitol for making them in the first place. They tore 23 families apart every year for their _entertainment_, including half of mine and Prim lost everyone except me and the other district 12 victors. The games took everything from them as well.

I have to make Prim feel better when she's upset, so I say "that's why, if you ever get reaped, I'm going to volunteer, remember?" Prim nods, probably recalling the events of two weeks ago, where I'd made a pact with Prim that as long as I could, I would make sure she never went into the hunger games, ever. Of course, that only gets her two extra years, but those years are going to be spent training, just as Peeta and I do.

I've mentioned how god Peeta and I are, but as no one thinks about it, no one ever acknowledges Prims skill, which is both healing and, surprisingly, mace-work. I know, it's strange for a 12 year old to enjoy busting someones head open, especially sweet innocent Prim, but Telstar had a bloodthirsty quality that both Prim and I had gained. Protectiveness was something I got from my father, so the two qualities combined make me a very scary bitch when someone I love is threatened by some a-hole loser who can't quit.

Like Gale Hawthorne.

Barely a year ago, I was arrested by the peacekeepers for murdering a boy two years my senior, a boy called Gale Hawthorne who had a rather large crush on me since we started hunting together when I was 12.

He was a violent person naturally, but when I'd rejected his- I think it was his seventh- offer to be with him, he got quite, shall we say, upset, and did the only thing he thought would work.

He went for my sisters. He had them in his basement and refused them all offers of food and drink, until I had sex with him.

When I had found out what he had done they were nearly dead, so when I knocked on his door and he had opened it with an evil smirk on his face, well...

they hadn't found every piece of his body to this day. I'm very good at hiding things.

I finish calming Prim down before turning to Anadama and stroke her hair, whispering similar things to her as I had to Prim.

Anadama was very frail, or as the doctors would put it, _mentally unstable_, and she could barely go six hours without going into an episode. This was another thing that I was sensitive to. And another thing I was found not guilty of once I found the bastard that caused it.

Thom markeeti, Gales best friend funnily enough.

Thom had experience dealing with mutts. Specifically, the tracker jackers. They were strange wasp like creatures that, when the venom is used in a way, can be used as a form of torture.

Not a week after I had been found not guilty of murder, Anadama had gone missing again.

After a day of frantic searching, Anadama walked in as though nothing had happened. Until someone had mentioned the capitol.

Ana had flown into a rage, screaming things about our ruling power that would get her executed if a peacekeeper heard. We think that was the point.

It was easy to find out Thom had done it, as he drunkenly boasted about how 'the bitches sisters gonna be executed by morning', right in front of R.J, my oldest brother.

It eventually trickled down to my ears he was the responsible one, so I went to his house.

They found his gonads shoved down his throat the next day.

The only good thing that came from this, was Ana now had exemption from the reaping, as she would probably attempt to kill anyone in the capitol if she saw the chance.

It's already one pm so I go home and get changed into my reaping dress, a simple white evening dress with yellow trims. Not really me but oh well.

* * *

I stood in the sixteen year old section, ready to volunteer as soon as the female tribute was called, and I wasn't nervous at all, all I could think of was _I can't wait_. Volunteering at sixteen was always my plan, regardless of Prim, as that was the age Telstar had volunteered for his best friend.

Effie trinket finishes reading the welcoming the welcoming message and walks over to the the girls bowl, and I'm practically bouncing, ready to get up there.

"Primrose Everdeen!" mutterings of 'rigged' and 'she's only 12', instantly fill the area, and I find myself shaking in fury at the obvious attempt at good media. Even though she knew I was going to volunteer anyway, Prim was shaking with sobs as she slowly walked up to the stage.

I force myself to look like the anger I fell- a hard thing to do, as I spend so long hiding my emotions- and start walking forwards.

Effie actually recoils at the look in my eyes as I growl out "I volunteer" in a venomous voice that actually causes a shudder to run through my own body, let alone anyone who heard me.

"u-uh.. isn- isn't there a procedure of..." she is interrupted by another growl from my throat, forming the words "I don't care".

She timidly walks to me, then says in a small voice "Your name, please?"

I snort derisively and jerk my thumb to Prim, speaking clearly and loudly "Katniss Mellark, daughter of Dora Mellark, and my father is-_was_- Telstar Everdeen, the first ever volunteer of our district, and Primroses half-sister" Effie just stares, causing an unnatural chuckle to form on my lips as I lean and whisper in her ear, "The boys, miss Trinket?".

This seems to shake my escorts head out of its stupor and she quickly trots to the boys.

The name she calls out Finally causes my anger to burst.

With a small gasp, Effie reads out the name.

"Peeta Mellark!"

_seriously!?_

* * *

**so what did you think? Katniss is kind of, um... aggressive, isn't she? I decided to mix a bit of law enforcement in with her, as I found it strange she was _never _caught.**

**Reviews= a free 'appointment' with Johanna!**


	3. Angry and Conflicted

**Hi guys, this chapter is just the goodbyes and reaping recaps so there is not much to say, but I was dissapointed that no one reviewed. Don't you love me? :(**

**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN SQUAT **

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Peeta Mellark. My brother. Is going into the hunger games with me.

I should be sad, why aren't I sad?

They're all sad, the people in the audience, so why aren't I?

I'm not sad, I'm angry. Angry at Effie Trinket for pulling out that name. I'm mad at Peeta for showing his emotions in a time like this. I'm angry that only now do my family start crying. But most of all, I'm mad at the Capitol for making us do this.

My face, according to the screen on the wall, is still angry, good, I need that, because with those two words, I know my 'angle' for these games, and it's never been done before.

_Rebellious._

Now deciding to act, I walk calmly over to Effie Trinket, smile at her so she's at ease.

And promptly put all my force into a punch to her jaw.

"FUCK THIS! FUCK YOU TRINKET, THAT IS MY BROTHER AND YOU WILL PAY FOR PULLING OUT HIS NAME! I PROMISE YOU THAT CAPITOL SCUM!"

_There, that made an impression I think._ The reaction is immediate. I am shoved straight into the justice building by peacekeepers, and am escorted roughly to a room to say my goodbyes. Not until the rest of the ceremony is finished though.

* * *

my first visitor is, unsurprisingly, my family. My mother wraps me in a hug which is very unexpected, but not unwelcome.

"You can win, Katniss, you can, I'm sorry Peeta's there with you, but you're stronger than he is, you can win..."

she has just asked me to kill her youngest son. _She just told me to kill Peeta._

She's the next to get a punch in the jaw.

"How dare you, mother? How dare you say that to me!? Peeta is my _brother_! I can't win now! I won't let myself, no! This will be the last time you see me and that's that!". I leave her reeling and turned to see my brothers shocked impressions. I walk over and hug them tightly, as tightly as I can. They reciprocate in kind. Their goodbyes are brief, as we were never particularly close compared to my sisters and Peeta. I turn to my sisters now, and they are having strange reactions to the whole thing.

Prim is not crying as I expected her to be, she looks angrily at me and won't say a word. That hurts, but I guess I understand. She heard me say that I'm not coming back. She won't have any proper family left.

_She won't have any family left._

NO! I can not allow myself to think like that, I don't want to win now, not now that Peeta's been reaped with me, he will not die. I will not let him.

Ana seems to be in a stupor, not showing any emotions or speaking at all. So when I get down to hug her, she doesn't hug me back, just stands there, staring at me.

My father is a man of few words, so we only hug, but when peacekeepers escort them out, I hear him and Ana break out into sobs. _I caused that._

My next visitor is Madge Undersee, one of my few friends and daughter of the mayor. She says nothing, just hugs me quickly and drops something into my pocket before leaving. I take it out and look at it.

It's her aunt Maysilee's Mockingjay pin.

I know the story of this pin well from Madge and my dad, who was Haymitch Abernathy's only friend. The pin went into the 2nd quarter quell with Maysilee Donner, who died but had also made it into the top was killed by muttations and Haymitch stayed with her as she died. That's everyone's story but no one knows where she actually got the pin.

The Mockingjay on it has always meant something to me. The capitol never meant for them to exist, and they did. They were the embodiment of rebellion. Perfect for me.

* * *

Until we get to the train, the only things I register are Effie looking terrified of me, and flipping off the cameras before pulling Peeta onto the train.

I know Peeta's mad, but he has the sense to not bother me about me about it.

Our mentors however, are a different story.

Haymitch Abernathy is sober, as he has been for three years now, thanks to our other mentor. He is looking at us with a pained expression on his face. This is because he knows Peeta slightly and knows me on a very personal level. Prim and I are his only friends outside of the 'victors circle', and he has told us he loves us on multiple occasions. We feel the same way about him as well.

The other mentor, the only ever female victor of 12, is smiling at us.

I know her name, but not many others remember it, nor does she want them to.

Finch kyter is her name. But she prefers to be known as Foxface.

She won her games, the 67th, by using nothing but her intelligence and quick thinking. She was kind of an older version of Ana really, but I didn't know her that well.

They run through our instructions quickly. Agree with the stylists. Peeta isn't to show how much he can do. I am to be portrayed as a vicious threat. Our angles are different but similar. Peeta is the over-protective older brother, and is charming and self-deprecating,while I am the over protective younger sister who is a vicious murderer. Literally.

* * *

the recap of the reapings is up next, and everyone is silent as we view our competition.

District one is up first and as usual, both tributes are volunteers. The boy, marvel, is particularly smug looking and his partner glimmer is hot but it is immediately obvious she knows it, which is kind of unattractive in my opinion. District two's male, I can instantly tell he will be the main opposition, he is brutish looking and has muscles like Gale had had. The girl however, I will not be able to kill. While she looks mean and everything, I hear Peeta's breath catch when there is a close up and by what I know about him, he _already_ wants this girl to live, even if she can't, because while her body posture is confident and strong, her eyes betray how afraid she really is. I cant kill this girl, not when Peeta already has an attachment to her. All the rest of the districts fly by, until we hit district 9, and my resolve to not win is bolstered a hundred fold.

The beginning of the reaping is simple enough, and when the girls name "Shiro" is called with no surname, a voice calls out.

"Yay! I won! Wait, what did I win?"

nearly the entire district is looking distressed as the young girl makes her way to the stage, and my heartstrings tug strongly as I take in her appearance. She is pretty average height for her age of 14, and is wearing a tight white body suit with red accents. But her eyes, her eyes are blood red, and I don't mean from crying, her _iris's_ are red. And her hair is hip-length and snow white. She reminds me of a snowflake. And before I can help it I've whispered, "She shouldn't die".

Everyone snaps their heads to me, but instantly their glares soften when they see that the tears I felt threatening all the way back at the reaping are now falling. Peeta wraps his arms around me but doesn't say anything. We carry on watching.

Shiro makes her way up to the stage happily and laughs when asked her surname.

"I don't have one miss capitol lady miss, I have parents, but they're up in the sky and I never saw them, so I didn't want a name I didn't know. Now who's coming with me miss capitol lady miss?" the escort looks absolutely dumbfounded and I just start sobbing full out now, making my way out of the room with my head in my hands, ignoring the others protests.

_I can't do this, I want her to live. Why do I feel like that with her. I feel like... I feel like a mother when I see her and I don't know why. But I will not hide that, she doesn't deserve this. No one deserves this. I don't deserve this. Peeta has to live. Shiro has to live. I have to live. Why does this happen!?_

* * *

**oh noes! What happens now!? I know, but will only give away something in P.M if you ask really nicely!**

**There _will_ be Cleeta, but it will be minor and definitely not a main point that is often discussed, as katniss doesn't really care and the whole thing will be in her POV **

**Shiro, is a Japanese name as far as I know, and she is a character from an anime called 'Deadman wonderland', she is my favorite character and I love her so much I had to make her a main point. I suggest you watch the anime as well, it's awesome!**

**Any review is welcome!**


	4. The plan

**Hi guys, Crappy valentines day!**

**I should have probably said this in the first chapter, but expect some wildly OOC Katniss from here on out.**

**I mean, seriously.**

_**Seriously**_

After my tears dry and I've calmed myself down, I get changed and go to dinner.

Safe to say, Effie was seriously terrified, when I entered the room and sat at the table, she instantly went to the other side of it, depositing herself next to Haymitch. Lesser of two evils I suppose. I plonk down next to Peeta and try to act like nothings happened. Of course it doesn't work.

"Hey, Kat are you okay?" Peeta is staring at me with an expression akin to fear, and I'm immediately stung and hurt. My outburst at the reaping and then breaking down earlier must have made me look quite insane. _Oh well, I can use that to my advantage, _I think to myself, but apparently my own brother thinks it too.

"Yes Peeta, I'm fine now, thank you. That girl from 9 really got to me." I decide to be honest, hoping he can read my expression and realize I just don't want to talk about it in front Effie, seeing as she's from the capitol and would be mortified at my thoughts. Foxface seems to read it as well and and promptly asks Effie to check to see if her wardrobe is decent for her 'appointments', whatever that is. It works, and I'm left alone with Peeta and Haymitch. Haymitch looks directly at me, and while his glare is supposed to be withering, I know him well enough to be able to notice the proud glint there.

"Well sweetheart? Care to give me any insight into that head of yours?" I debate with myself for a moment.

While the train is most probably bugged, and anything I say would make it back to President Snow, he has probably guessed my thoughts from the reaping. And Prim is the daughter of a victor, so she's safe, as it would be too dangerous to have her killed right after her half-sister defied the Capitol. It would make it obvious the Capitol killed the people closest to rebels, and that could be bad for them. The rest of my family-excluding Peeta, of course- would be in terrible danger if I did anything, but as with Prim, it would be too suspicious. I make my decision moments later.

"Fuck the games", I mutter, and Peeta looks at me, wide eyed. "they've sent a messed up orphan, three twelve year old's, and two siblings into the games. And that's not to mention a career that doesn't want to be a career, and someone who wants the Capitol to burn, and doesn't want to hide it either." again, Peeta just stares at me, but this time, Haymitch answers. And it's something I am further upset about.

"Actually sweetheart, four twelve year old's, and two sets of siblings. District 11 has a brother and sister, and the girls only twelve. The boy loo-" I cut him off by bursting again.

"SEE! This is what I mean, no matter what happens now, families will be ripped apart, dreams shattered, and the Capitol doesn't give a damn, they don't care about us in the districts. Only enough to make sure they live comfortably with the stuff we make. They just want entertainment. And you what guys, FUCK THAT! They need to know what they do, they really need to _feel _it this time, so do you want to know what I'm going to do?" they're both looking at me, astonishment, fear, fascination, worry all etched on both their faces as they nod.

"just before I do though, you should know that I have already guessed I don't give a damn that the train is bugged, so I would like to send Snow a message, please leave the room! They both stand up shakily and stumble out the room.

"President Snow, I know a lot of the things you do from my father, Telstar Everdeen, and I know what my actions may entail. I ask three things from you, and in return, I will be 'yours to command' as it were, when I get out of the arena, and I _will _get out of the arena. My first demand is that you make a rule change so any tributes with the same surname can all win. The second is that leave my family alone whether or not I win. The final is that you have adoption papers sent up to my room in the training center. If you wish to know my reasoning, then, quite frankly President Snow, you're an idiot, there's only one tribute possible to adopt, and I as I'm 16, I can legally adopt as a single parent. Thank you for listening."

quite frankly, I had no idea what I was going to say when I was left alone, but as soon as I started speaking, I knew I was saying the right things as they left my mouth.

The adoption idea came to me as I was crying. Shiro is a young girl who despite her outgoing and carefree nature, I could see something scared, something _vulnerable. _I don't know where I got the ability to read her, but I felt as if I should protect her. I knew it wasn't anything romantic because I knew I would _never_ have those feelings about _anyone_. These feelings were more maternal, as if she was my daughter or something. I really don't care why the feelings are there either. I don't care about much now that I'm being sent to fight. I'm not being sent to death, I will _win _and I know I will, with Peeta and Shiro next to me.

Then I was going to burn the Capitol to the ground.

The districts will be free, and I will bring it about.

Nothing will stand in my way.

Not even Snow.

Somewhere in my thoughts, I had asked Haymitch for any tapes of the games he had. He handed over the 71st, the year a girl called Johanna had won. I watched it on my own, and another change in my psyche was imminent.

I saw all the blood, all the pain, all the anguish.

_I liked it_. I couldn't stop myself from thinking it, and while I was disgusted with myself, I knew it to be true.

I started laughing halfway through someone being tortured by the careers, and then I couldn't stop. Not until I was choking and Haymitch, having heard it, came in and helped.

When I calmed, he fixed me with an icy stare.

"You need to stop all this crazy shit, Sweetheart, it's going to get you killed."

I openly laughed at his statement. "I don't think so Haymitch, not if Snow knows what's good for him" Haymitch stares at me blankly, so I continue on " I have basically forced him into an agreement that he cannot back down from. One that ensures either multiple victors or a _severe_ drop in the whole victor-prostitution thing, because lets face it, with my attitude and looks, I could be more successful than Finnick Odair."

Finnick Odair is a living legend, the youngest ever victor and prostitute for the President.

Haymitch already knows I knew about so it doesn't faze him, he just nods in agreement, but still doesn't say anything.

I tell him the rest and he eventually smiles so wide I think it must hurt. He hugs me, a rare occurrence, an promptly leaves the room.

I feel better knowing that even if I do die, the Capitol will not forget the 74th hunger games.

**Woah!**

**Damn, katniss is awesome. The adoption thing just came to me while I was writing.**

**Reviews=love**


	5. Forgotten recollection

**Hi guys!**

**It's 10 o'clock here and I pulled an all-nighter, don't hate me if I mess up!**

* * *

The rest of the train ride is fairly uneventful, simply talking strategy-well, Peeta and Haymitch talking strategy while I stare out the window, absorbed in my thoughts.

I hate the capitol and the games, this much I know, but I can't help thinking about how I felt when I was watching the 71st. There was blood everywhere and people were missing body parts and screaming in agony. And it...

_It felt right._

It felt like I was supposed to be right there, causing the pain. It didn't, _turn me on_ or anything like that. I'm not a masochist, but I felt a strange sense of pride when I saw the girl from 12 slice the stomach of the boy from 5.

The other thing I couldn't stop thinking about, was Shiro, the girl from district 9.

Along with the maternal feelings I always got when I would think about her, I also got the strange feeling that I had seen her before from somewhere. But for the life of me, I could not remember where it had been. She's from 9, where would I have seem her before? And goddammit why did I feel that laying down my life for her would be something I would do without a second thought? These feelings obviously come from somewhere, but the only thing I can come up with is that I must know her, but from where?

* * *

_I'm sat at the train station, Prim on my lap, watching as the train pulls up a stern looking man gets out. The other young girl who is sat next to me starts to cry. "Momma Kat, I don't wanna go!" She leans into my shoulder, and I let go of Prim to comfort the girl. "I know Shiro, but district 9 is gonna be loads of fun for you!" My voice is falsely bright and cheery, and it seems to calm the girl down._

"_But, why can't you and sissy Prim come too?" Shiro has stopped crying now, and just looks resigned. I sigh and pull Prim back up so the two girls are facing each other, and Prim talks, or at least tries to, as she's crying almost as hard as Shiro was. "Be-because now that Mommy and Daddy are... Gone, We can't look after you anymore, and District 9 agreed to take you so you would be s-safe" Prim can't get anymore out before Shiro pulls her into a bug hug._

"_Sissy Prim, I'll miss you! Momma Kat I'll miss you too!" She begins to fight the man who is now pulling her onto the train. When she is on the train and gets to the window, we all wave to each other through our tears._

_When Shiro stops waving though, her eyes instantly become something I've never seen before. She is no longer sad and resigned, but she looks _angry_. Sweet Shiro, my little snowflake, looks angry, for the first time in her life, the look on her face actually _scares _me._

_Just before we lose sight of her, a maniacal grin appears on her face. Prim starts crying again._

* * *

I bolt straight up, shaking and drenched in sweat, but as soon as I've calmed down, I can't remember what my dream was about, I only remember a grin and Prim crying.

* * *

We have finally made it to the Capitol, and my prep team is chattering away about inconsequential things like Finnick Odair's latest love scandal while they-and I mean this- viciously tear out my leg hair as if it were _not _attached to my skin. I remember Haymitchs's advice though, and no protest makes its way to my lips.

This continues-the prep team gibbering about stupid things while making jabs at my appearance as if I should _thank_ them for making my entire body sting. What does my _lower_ region matter anyway? I won't be stripping for the capitol or anything, so why wax it?

When the stylist is called, I look around my room finally and instantly notice the camera in the corner of the room. I flip it off just as- I think they called him Cinna?- makes his way towards me, chuckling at my reaction to the camera.

"I'm not gonna bother with any of that 'congrats' crap okay? I know how you feel about all this" I look at him quizzically. "Haymitch warned me about you, something about learning when to 'hold the place mat in surrender" I actually chortle a little as I remember yesterday at lunch.

They were talking about the other tributes and I heard some of what they were saying from the window seat I was eating at. Haymitch had said something that I really hated.

"I have no idea why Katniss likes her so much, but D9 girl's gonna be a bloodbath, it wouldn't surprise me if the D2 boy went down on her fir- WHAT THE FUCK SWEETHEART!?"

My knives were now in two places- one in his place mat, one had smashed his bottle of liquor and was now on Peeta's place mat, soaking with liquor. My aim really was perfect. I left the room after that- not offering an explanation. Mainly because I didn't have one. My pull towards Shiro was growing stronger the closer I was getting to her, and I had a feeling my nightmares had something to do with it- if I could just remember them in the morning.

Cinna looks at me expectantly, so I simply say "He was being a dick"

He nods and carries on getting my costume ready.

My costume is like nothing I have ever seen. I was told they were going to make Peeta into 'The boy on fire', but I had no idea what they were doing for me. Until I realized what my actions meant and the angle I was playing.

_Rebellious_.

I was wearing an impossibly bright white floor length gown, with little red jewels looking like raindrops all over it, light coal dust appearing to scorch my dress. And then I realize what the jewels look like, and what the dust represents.

Blood and Fire.

Apparently, the dress is technological as well. When I press the button on my hip, the jewels will _melt_ to make it look like I'm dripping with blood that's not my own , and the dust will set on- fake- fire. The dress is of the highest Capitol quality.

I'm burning the Capitol pride with my image.

"Cinna... it's perfect" I tell him, a wicked smile taking over my face.

_This will show them not to fuck with me._

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**not really much to say so I will simply request that you give your opinions, whether they be good or bad.**

**Reviews=love!**


	6. Little Snowflake

**Hi guys!**

**This chapter is just the beginning opening ceremony so we will finally meet Shiro! **

* * *

As we exit the elevator and enter the stables, nearly all eyes flick towards me. Not us, _me_. Their expressions vary; some are of fear, like the Capitol citizens-guess they saw my outburst at the reaping-, others of approval-the to probably-, some of envy ad hatred-nearly all the careers, naturally-. But one face is different, and for whatever reason, my face lifts an astounding amount when I see the pure joy on one girls face.

"MOMMA KAT!"

Shiro runs straight at me, ignoring the protests of her team, just as I do when I move towards her. Before I know it, I'm running with confusing tears down my eyes. _Why am I crying?_

As soon as we reach each other, we are in each others arms, both of us with tears on our faces. "I missed you Momma Kat" She says, her voice muffled in my my dress. "I missed you to, little snowflake" _snowflake? Where did that come from? It felt right though. _I'm now fully aware of the stares we're getting but I can't bring myself to end the moment. W simply stand there, time being forgotten until I'm being tapped on the shoulder.

It's Peeta, and he has the strangest look on his face as he pulls me away to my team, where Haymitch is absolutely fuming. I see Shiro being pulled away as well, and I can see her struggling and it just makes me want to hug her again, to quell her doubts, to reassure I will talk to her again tonight-or tomorrow at least.

* * *

**I know, I know, short! But I wanted it to be a nice little reunion, not to mention I only had half an hour on the computer 'cause of my dumb mum wanting to use it :(**

**Reviews=Love!**


	7. The Alliance

**Hi guys! Sorry I haven't uploaded in a while, this is the first time in over a week I've had an extended time to myself. Anyway, second half of opening ceremonies!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"What the hell was that Sweetheart!" Haymitch was practically spitting with uncontrollable rage as he looked at me, while I just looked at him blankly, defiant.

"It was what it looked like, a reunion" My voice was void of emotion, which to any but me, would not be taken as confusion. I really was quite confused if I'm honest.

As soon as she was in my arms, all these memories started rushing forward; Being in the room when Shiro was born, and finding it strange that she had white hair and red eyes until Mrs. Everdeen said she was something called _albino_. Helping her grow up as her parents died less than a month after she was born. The nickname 'Momma Kat' which were her first two words. Crying when she left. And that maniacal smile as she looked out of the window on the train...

I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Haymitch storming away from me. I think I might have been ignoring him, too caught up in my thoughts to pay attention.

"Katniss, are you okay?" My brother snaps his fingers-rather rudely I might add-in my face to get my attention, which instantly bothers me. I glare at him before answering.

"I'm fine Peeta, how are you?" Peeta had withered under my glare but straightened his posture before replying with "Nervous as all hell, but I can deal with it". I walk away.

Peeta may be my brother, but for whatever reason I need to keep away now, because he will die within the next two weeks. I may even be the one to kill him, but if the looks he keeps shooting at Clove from 2 is any clue, he may want in the careers this year. Typical Peeta, falling for a girl he can't have. It's not the first time. He fell pretty hard for one of my friends a couple of years ago.

Delly Cartwright was one of my best friends, one of the only people I trusted outside my family. We'd stuck together through the death of my father and step mother, the departure of Shiro- which she _conveniently_ never spoke of again. But she hadn't spoken to me in two years, because of Peeta. Delly was 4 years older than us, and engaged when Peeta tried to seduce her. Not in a bad way, but Peeta is a hopeless romantic, and has never fallen for someone he has a remote shot with.

* * *

I decide to wander around a bit, and find myself at the 11 chariot, talking to Chaff, Haymitch's best friend and drinking buddy, when a massive figure begins making it's way over to me. I see it's Thresh and I give him a small smile.

"Hey 12. Chaff, Rue needs to talk with you about her stylist." Chaff walks away grumbling and Thresh turns back to me. "Sorry about that, Chaff's gonna get pissed when he finds out I lied" I stand, staring at him with suspicion clouding my features, silently pleading that he will continue.

Luckily he does, "Listen, you're probably gonna get this a lot, but what was that with the girl from 9?" I sigh, he was right, I had been expecting this. I saw no reason to lie so I simply said, "She moved there from 12 some years back, we were inseparable, and we're going to win" Thresh looked confused, but only for a moment before his expression became soft again, his amber eyes shining with warmth, "Well if that's the case, I was wondering if you, your brother and that girl-" I cut him off.

"Her name is Shiro, okay?" He nods under my glare and continues "-Right, Shiro would be interested in allying with my sister and I?" My eyes widened in surprise. Really? Proposing an alliance without knowing the skills of the others? Almost like reading my mind, Thresh states quite softly "I can tell you and your brother- Peeta?- are good with bows, by the way your hands are calloused, and Shiro is like my Rue- Innocent but also unassuming- they could help with scouting out areas beforehand". I am absolutely dumbfounded by his knowledge, but find my voice unwavering as I reply, "I'll talk to them, and you have my yes, but their opinions matter as well"

Thresh nods and smiles at me, "Of course, find me tomorrow in training, and if you have your okays, I'll let you know our strengths" This has me now nodding enthusiastically. If it helps our survival chances, who am I to disagree. I walk away towards the other chariots with only a small glance back, to see Thresh with his eyes firmly planted on my backside. This causes me to chuckle lightly and say "Hey Thresh? Eyes are up here man" He looks up in alarm and immediately turns away, face beet red.

* * *

I find myself at 2's chariot now, where I stand waiting to talk to Clove.

I decided while walking around to let Clove know about my brothers _affection_ for her, if I can call it that. Because while my brother is a sweetheart, he just doesn't know when to give up.

She eventually notices me, a fierce glare adorning her features, which actually has me laughing lightly at her. Fair enough though, she does come up and actually apologise.

"Sorry, thought you were Cato" Her features are now warm and inviting, her dark eyes are still wary though- understandable I guess, she is a career.

"Yeah, I just wanted a chat quickly" I figure the easiest way to talk to other tributes is casually- no matter how I was raised. She nods slightly and follows me to the corner of the vast room. I waste no time in getting right to business. "Stay away from Peeta" She looks surprised and- hurt?- but quickly composes herself.

"And why should I do that?" Again, my blunt approach is the best a career will get, even if she doesn't really seem like a career.

"I think he wants to get in your pants" To my surprise, she actually smiles at this, _smiles_. She looks back to the ground, blushing for whatever reason.

"I'll be fine, thanks for your concern" I quickly grip her wrists before she leaves and let go as soon as she turned back, shock written all over her face. I didn't even know why I'd done it until the words were out of my mouth.

"You don't seem like a career" I blurt out, and to my surprise she smiles again before nodding, whilst saying "I'm not, I mean, I was trained, and I'm good, but I don't want this, and I know I'm going to die" I could feel my heart breaking for this girl. She has basically been forced here by the pressure of her district. I wonder how many other 'careers' have felt this way. I nod and again can't stop the words from coming forth.

"Why don't you join us? My alliance I mean" I'm not surprised this time when she smiles, but I am surprised when she sadly shakes her head. "The careers are the only ones who would accept me, besides you and Peeta probably, no one else will want me" Well, I suppose, but I can't let her go into the lions den without decent backup.

"I'll talk to my group on your behalf" I walk away without listening for her reply.

* * *

Okay, this is now the funniest opening ceremony I've ever seen.

Snow is glaring at me, the cameras are _all _pointed at me, and I'm here.

With both middle fingers up at the President as he reads the change I suggested for this years games.

I guess the President does have some will I can bend after all.

* * *

**So sorry for the long wait, but so busy! Anyways, I understand that alliance will be large, but I don't care, I love them all! even Clove! **

**I'll try and update again soon!**


	8. Sore Loser

**Hi guys! I'm skipping straight to night now, as nothing interesting happens between last chapter and now.**

**Enjoy!**

*****LINE BREAK*****

After Haymitch chewed me out about my 'antics' at the opening ceremony, I decided to take a journey to the roof to clear my head.

Okay, so maybe I was a bit _too _rude during the ceremony, but it's not like he can do anything to me. Unless I win, I'm untouchable for the rest of my life.

And lets face it, the look on Snows and the audiences faces were hilarious. The president glaring, and the audience staring in blatant shock were enough to give me a running chuckle through the entire thing.

I am pulled from my thoughts by the sound of an elevator door opening, but I can't be asked to turn around.

"Hey Kitty Kat" My smile is soft for two reasons; I recognize the voice of the victor and my friend, Johanna Mason. And the nickname that she's had for me for the past three years, ever since she found out Prim's cat Buttercup hated me.

"Hey JoJo, what's up?" I can already guess.

"That outfit was awesome, Kat, but the fingers, _damn_ girl, you really know how to piss people off" Johanna's next to me now, and has a rare genuine smile on her face. She approves of my rebellious actions. I'm not surprised, considering it was me who comforted her when Snow killed everyone close to her that was actually touchable after she refused his prostitution offer. The only people she had left were me, Haymitch, Finnick Odair, and even Prim to some extent. I wasn't really sure why she was such good friends with Finnick, I mean, I'm good friends with Finnick, no matter my thoughts on prostitution, but the two of them go together like chalk and cheese. Then again, there's not much about either of them that makes sense. Life of a victor I guess.

"Yeah I know, but to be honest Johanna, unless I win, there's nothing he can do to hurt me, so why not?"

"I guess, but remember, just because you wont be around, doesn't mean he wont punish your loved ones" I don't really care anymore to be honest, but it's not like I can tell anyone that. If I'm dead, what does it matter to me?

"So are we gonna get down to it or not?" Her seemingly random question throws me off guard, even though I know what she's talking about.

I aim a punch at her neck, which she sidesteps easily, but she didn't notice my other hand coming down towards her legs. It hits, and she lets out a slight hiss of pain, which is a distraction, so kick her straight in the chest, sending her flying. She hits a wall and slides down it, only to clamber back up to her feet instantly.

"I thought you were gonna be ready for me JoJo?" She just smirks and leaves the roof. She's a sore loser.

***LINE BREAK***

**Just thought I'd add something small in, as I didn't have much time today**

**Reviews=love!**


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